Ruins to Life

There was this once where I felt disconnected from people and from God. It was perhaps due to my introverted nature as I was surrounded with a group of people for an extended period of time, that I grew tired emotionally. Added on to that was a seed of doubt that had somehow taken root in my heart. I doubted in Jesus as I was reading up on Judaism and reasons why Jesus is not the messiah. I thought I had fought away these doubts but apparently it was still there.

I remember that day when a Christian song was playing but.. but the song did not mean anything to me. I couldn't connect with the lyrics of the song as it sang about Jesus. I recall feeling quite terrible at that time with a sense of emptiness in my heart. It was a very real and frightening feeling. In that state, I went into prayer and cried out to God, 'Save me.. Save me God,' several times.

The next day, I looked through some Christian song sheets that I have from all the times I had served in the church band and played a song called 'Glorious Ruins' on the guitar. It touched me deeply. I wept as I sang. I knew God was restoring me. I could understand and relate to every words of the song. I was in ruins. Then I came to life.

This is the song.

Right now, as I am listening to 'Glorious Ruins', I flipped through the bible and came to the verses in Psalm 116. I am reminded of that which I had gone through as recounted above. Verse 3 says 'I was overcome by trouble and sorrow'. Then, verse 7 and 8 says, 'Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,' I came to a deeper understanding of how our souls crave. Without Him, our souls will never be at rest, because we were meant to be with Him. 

Psalm 116

1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
    I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
    the anguish of the grave came over me;
    I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Lord, save me!”

5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.

7 Return to your rest, my soul,
    for the Lord has been good to you.

8 For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
    my eyes from tears,
    my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the Lord
    in the land of the living.

10 I trusted in the Lord when I said,
    “I am greatly afflicted”;
11 in my alarm I said,
    “Everyone is a liar.”

12 What shall I return to the Lord
    for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
    and call on the name of the Lord.
14 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the Lord
    is the death of his faithful servants.
16 Truly I am your servant, Lord;
    I serve you just as my mother did;
    you have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
    and call on the name of the Lord.
18 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people,
19 in the courts of the house of the Lord—
    in your midst, Jerusalem.

Praise the Lord.